Deadliest Catch

Well i'm currently auditioning for the new series of deadliest catch, well it feels like it anyway. The driver of the stena boat isnay howliner straight. I think i would have been more stable had i tried to balance on a football for an hour.
Looking on the bright side i have just completed a pig sale to some bloke in England who tells me that he is going to repackage the meat for the halal market in East London, calling it smoked salty lamb. Fair play to him he pays up front with no questions asked and in todays difficult times a sale is a sale is a sale. I'm not joking you when i tell you he could sell sand to the Egyptians. He recently off loaded 15 royal mail post boxes painted black to the Greater London Assembly, informing them that they were 'Burka compliant' and telling them they would be ideal for islamic womens centres when it comes to demonstrating the correct fitting of a Burka. The GLA have roled these out to various centres in the Tower Hamlets area. Good move or what?
Speaking of lucrative contracts, i recently obtained a valuable exportation licence, allowing me to transport loose quarry material to the Iranian department of justice. What they're going to do with a load of stones and rocks is beyond me, but what the hell a deal is a deal.
Right back to reality, i have to go and load the next crab pot up before we dock in Belfast. See y'all later land lubbers.....